High School Is A Biatch

Ah...High School... This should be fun. Like most people, I was very nervous at the start of 8th grade, but I had thought everything would be fine. I'll just skip the boring crap. I became friends with 6 girls (Cyndie, Nicole, Cindy, Robyn, Bianca and Alyssa) and one guy by the name of Jesse. At first we didn't classify ourselves into any little cliques, but soon we became known as the Emos. like cutting, depression, heavy metal, guys wearing eyeliner and so on. My friends also started smoking but I didn't start until the next year I think. Anyway, everyone started bullying me again and it really hurt. I had a bladder problem, that if I laugh too much, I wet myself. And that happened a few times. In class. "Piss Pants" was christened. I still don't know who I am, because I changed myself so much for them. So grade 8 wasn't bad but when I got to grade 9, it really started getting bad. I started smoking, making myself what they wanted me to be. I had a boyfriend in that year, called Martyn, and once when I was at his house, my so-called best friend slept with him while I was in the other room. But I pretended not to care. I would be called worthless, stupid, loser, and other names which are still to difficult to say. In school I had a few boyfriends, 2 I broke up with, the others cheated on me or used me to make other girls jealous.

Another time when my friends were by my house, I was sitting by my computer and felt Cyndie pull me back. I felt something wet, hard, and not extremely pleasant and found out they had taken (for lack of better use of words) shit from the toilet and pulled me back into it. I didn't say anything and just got up to change. i have never sworn so much in my life but they were laughing at me. I failed grade 9. The next year in the same grade I had a boyfriend who wanted to attack my father, when I ran away from home. Rebellious Stage. I laugh about it all now, but there is still that painful feeling because I mdidn't do a thing to deserve what they were doing. I was always there for them, my house was the safe house. But I failed grade 9 again. Went to college, and that will be the topic of the next post.

CoLlEgE hEaRtBrEaK

Till Next Time

XOXO